An embrace for winter
I had to go to the North. Work called me to move north...and so I did. This took me farther from Maverick. Although we have never really met, something seemed to tug at my heart wanting me to stay where I was at...but it was not to be. I had to leave and head north. And so I went...
I never thought that I'd feel so lonely nor did I ever think that I'd miss Maverick that badly...but he remained faithful. He called me up everyday -- and night. In him I found solace. In him I found comfort. In him I found the warmth that I sought after a long walk in the cold of winter.
His voice was the embrace that rocked me to sleep on that long, cold winter. His voice was the inspiration that kept me going while I was up there. Everyday, I would look forward to hearing his voice.
Then one day it stopped...

How we met...
Maverick and I met through the net. Yes, the net. The mesh that is the net is labyrinthine. We met, and to me, I was lucky. To have found him in the maze I was in was pure chance...and to have grabbed that chance right there and then was even luckier. But then again, I didn't see it that way. Initially, I thought it was just some fleeting acquaintance and that by the end of the week he'd be gone...stashed away in the deepest recesses of my memory. So anyways, he called me up and never stopped calling from then on.

He would sometimes call me up an average of 3 times per day. I got to know him well..and I suppose I revealed more of me than what I've intended. Each day I began to notice how smart he was. He also had the greatest sense of humor. But what got to me the most was his directness. Now, from the start, I knew that he was hiding something. I felt it. Instinct told me he was holding something back...and at the back of my mind I knew what that was. I did not ignore it. I just simply did not mention it...perhaps it was because I was having fun getting to know him...perhaps it was because he was a joy to talk with...perhaps because I felt that I can let go of myself without having to fear anything owing to the fact that he was far away...or perhaps because I knew that the answer to the question lurking in my mind was "yes".

And so, day after day, night after night, we talked. It seemed that we never ran out of things to say. Always, there was something to talk about...and this brought us closer then we both anticipated.

It seemed to me that he genuinely enjoyed what we had...no longer an agreement...not a relationship...but a friendship. The kind that goes through the bounds of time. Yes. We were friends. We are friends...with passion, and thus the intimacy...not physical but not intangible either.

I'm pretty sure that when we first talked,he was thinking of the very same thing I was. That it was never going to last. Neither one of us must have thought that what we began to share would move along with the tides and stay afloat --- at least not I.

The wounds inflicted to me not very long before we met began closing up...but as the wounds healed, the certainty that I was falling in love with Maverick began showing with blinding clarity. I didn't want to call it that. I tried to fight it off. I was trying to convince myself that I was not ready to fall in love so soon. I said to myself I didn't even know what it was. I had to find out what it meant first before I surrendered. And so I fought the current, but the harder I fought back, the more I felt like I was drowning and so I finally gave in...uncertain, I let the current take me to the unknown.

My Quiescent Heart
Let me tell you a love story. It is a sad story but bear with me for this story is one that is filled with the essence of love --- life itself.

It all started about a year ago. I had started out to be quite naive about relationships. Looking back I realize that I was fickle and easily swayed. I had just gotten out of a complex relationship---notice that I say complex, for it was that. I wouldn't say it was bad nor was it a pain...but yes, it was definitely complex. It was like having a relationship with a shadow. You know for certain it is there, but always out of reach. Well, to make that complex story simple, I got out of it and jumped right into another one. Stupid??? Yes. you might think that...but wait --- this is how the story began.

"Don't fall in love with me." That was the first condition. Actually, that was the only condition. I know that sounds familiar. Passe even. For this line to be said in so many movies, you'd think it would lose its meaning. That it's none other than that - a line. But to me it wasn't. I meant it. There was no other way to say it. I had made that condition because I was still quite in love with the guy I had broken up with --- or so I thought. Of course, Maverick knew this (that's not his real name - but let's call him that). And he accepted this fact readily. You see, Maverick is the kind of guy who hears but never really listens...that was how he was at the start.

So, an agreement was forged...not a relationship, but an agreement. Maverick appealed to me as a smart fellow, albeit cut and dry. But see, that was what I thought I needed. Somebody who was seeking a partner, minus the commitment, minus the promises, therefore minus the lies, minus the hurt...minus the pain.

But all was about to change...